Escort for 25th Birthday?

Pick up (I mean, pay for) a few std's here and there too ?

 

no such thing as a free lunch

 

At the risk of sounding like I'm cultivating some type of reiteration fetish, what variety of lazy scumbag do you have to be to resort to hiring someone to screw? I realize my personal experience as a poor ugly penisless white male with zero redeeming qualities doesn't count for much, but somehow even I managed to get a roughtly 50% fuck-on-the-first-evening rate out of online dating. I mean, it would be a case where I'm ready to dig out my keys and take off and they'd be the ones to go, "You're not going anywhere." So, yeah, women (and by "women" I really mean everybody) like to go out and want a good time. Sex is often a part of that. Hell, more than half the fun of dating is getting to the part where you're given the green light to disrobe them. The biggest rush and most memorable experiences of out my various intimate relationships don't involve penetration and my prostate contracting; they involve the exhilaration of the flirting game, the give and take of conversation and all the physical and mental gymnastics that take place from the neck up. The thing that this dude needs to work on, in my opinion, is the bit from the neck up. Confidence. Conversation. Being real. Not adopting the philosophy that women are things, sexual vending machines where you go to purchase a product because you're too lazy to make them want to share it with you. I just don't get it. I figure masturbating with another person's body is just masturbating with another person's body.

 

While I may have lost respect in the above posters eyes a while ago, I couldn't agree more.

 

If that's a concern, there are things like condoms and dental dams. It is possible to have sex with someone who has an STD without contracting it. And most of the higher end escorts would be pretty incentivised to maintain a clean bill of health. In that profession, I can't imagine anyone other than the bottom rung NOT insisting on safe sex every single time.

But you seem to have a preconceived notion. Good luck with that.

 

You always pay for sex one way or another.....what is so wrong about putting the price tag up front?

 

You're less likely to pick up an STD from an escort at a good agency than a girl you picked up at a bar. When someone makes (high class) sex a profession, sexual health becomes a very big part of part of the business. You can't get picked up by a good (and, therefore, high paying) escort agency without a clean bill of health, if I remember correctly.

Disclaimer(s)(!!):
1) I'm not attacking you personally, I'm using this to underscore a previous point I made on my earlier comment here.
2) I certainly don't claim to know the type of women you go for the on the dating sites, this is more of a generalization.
3) I've used OKCupid (a hell of a lot) to get my rocks off in the past, but that's me and, as it has been illustrated a number of times, I'm not the most normal of females when it comes to sexual activity and, therefore, cannot represent the average female on OKC.
4a) I'm operating on the OP which is concerned with the poster losing his virginity not dating, meaning his goal is purely sex.
4b) If the original poster is also open to a relationship, he did not state it in his OP, mentioning dating only as "when I actually start dating" which can be taken to mean that he is not interested in dating at the current time.

About 70% of my friends are male. I've met a small chunk of that 70% online, on sites like OKC. Every single one of them has admitted to me that, if they did go on a date with a girl from the site, if they slept with them on the first date... they didn't go on a second date. (Which makes sense on multiple levels, but we're not going to go into that now, as it would be too much of a hijack.)

Of my female friends and acquaintances, I do not know a single one of them that would be truly okay with not getting a call back for a second date after sleeping with a man on the first. All of them would experience degrees of hurt, disappointment, and general feelings of rejection afterwards. A number of them have used or are currently using OKC or other dating sites.

If the poster's concern is solely for sex, as is stated in 4a, then promoting the use of dating sites (instead of adult sites) is advocating deceiving his potential partner(s) as to his intent (unless, of course, he puts in his dating site profile that he's looking for sex, not a relationship, but that would just be... well, weird (for a virgin, anyway)), which I find, personally, to be unethical. This may or may not bother the OP.

Just because someone has a single good date with a person (and then has sex with them on said date) does not negate the potential for having the other person turn into a "sexual vending machine."

Which is why, if his intent is solely sex (again, as stated in 4a), I suggest using an escort. It is safer and more educational than using an adult site, and certainly more ethical than using a dating site or trolling bars. You know, if you're concerned with ethics.

 

Pfft, I'm all for personal attacks. Be my guest. Individual users don't judge them, the staff does.

Of course not. Just based on the little blurbs you've posted on TFP, I'm guessing we're textbook polar opposites.

Hey, that's great.

He's 25 and hasn't somehow touched a girl yet. Statistically, he actually has to be avoiding women at this point. To me, that suggests he doesn't know what the fuck he wants.

See response to 4A. Original poster is clearly delirious from the weight of the great load accumulating in his sack. I lost my virginity at 18 and I'm actually legitimately retarded.

Demographics. I won't bother with the stereotypes I've got going but something tells me these guys aren't into women that have flaws like cellulite or being over the age of 24.

Clearly the wrong kind of communication going on. If men are using the expectations of tomorrow to get pussy (any Top 40 song these days), women need to recall a brief history of last two thousand years of such sexual transactions and keep their pussy to themselves. I've been with a good number of women that had a "not until date 3" rule. I've been with women that were cool with it on the first date because they wanted to get off (they said as much) and while they would be disappointed if the relationship didn't progress to another date, it was kind of expected that fucking on the first date negates a relationship to many men. Again, communication. I've cockblocked myself a few times with the "I'm not looking for a relationship" line in the middle of a good scrotum tug.

NEW RULES FOR THE FIRST DATE FUCK:

Men: Stop being deceptive sacks of shit. There are plenty of horny girls that will fuck you.

Women: Don't try to get to a man's heart through his balls. It'll never work out for you.

Unethical? You know what's unethical? Telling this guy to pay for sex because he's too socially awkward to earn it. That's a huge disservice. A good game of life doesn't involve these cheat codes. If he's going to spend money, he should spend it developing himself as a person or to be where he can meet the kind of women he likes.

Of course not. But the idea would be that OP earned the sex by developing a connection with a real woman through confidence in conversation instead of dropping $$$ on the dresser when he was done. Again, how you get there is the whole point. He needs training wheels on his head, not on his dick. Anybody can figure out the sex part, it's the talking part that requires work.

That and you know who's good at the sex part but shitty at the talking part? Serial killers.

Educational about what? Sex. And that's it. Let's be realistic, Madam Fancy: Despite any Pretty Woman in Reverse stories to the contrary, I'm guessing most sex workers that this dude can afford (or would want to pay) are not interested in taking awkward young men under their wing. They are interested in zipping up their dress, finding a dude, unzipping that dress, letting him "climb aboard," picking up their cash 4.6 minutes later and moving the fuck out. I look forward to your counter, especially if it involves depicting prostitutes as some type of zen karate masters looking for eager pupils. As someone that has worked with law enforcement for a hot minute and seen "escorts" in action, I would definitely be interested in the high life side where the meth is substituted for coke and these women are just doing it for the money so they can pay cash for law school. Color me skeptical.

 

Dr Plan, you should have your own tv-show! :-o

How about fembots instead of escort service?

 

Just didn't want a repeat of what happened a few months ago. Also, I find personal attacks to be a failing argument.

Actually, from reading your postings, we seem to have more opinions in common than not. We just clash on some sex-related matters. If you weren't so busy pigeon-holing me for a set of opinions I have, you'd see that.

If you re-read his post, he says he's an engineer. His education and his field have been very male-dominated and he clearly lacks exposure to the opposite sex and, as such, comfortability with them because of it.

And, not to generalize too much, nearly every engineer I have met, male and female, has been... a bit apart, socially. They think different, they interact different, and most women can't get over that gap.

Did retardation occur before or after being introduced to sex? Inquiring minds and all that.

Hardly. I don't keep male friends like that. Well, usually. Wondering where you are gathering your stereotypes of my male friends from.

And yet they keep sleeping with guys on the first date. Repeatedly. You're basically saying with this that men, they can act on their biological urges, but women, they have to keep themselves reigned in and look back at history.

This is so old-fashioned it hurts.

Also, you're potentially saying that any brains, beauty, or personality a woman has is negated simply by sleeping with a man on the first date as he's going to bail. Please tell me you're not going to excuse this with evo-psych. Please, please, please.

Which is oddly noble of you. And, yes, communication. Of course, communication. Personally, if I was on a first date with a guy and getting heavy and he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship, I'd be more inclined to engage. But what you're saying for the OP to do is not communicate his actual intent.

Your rule for men contradicts your advice to the OP.

I never said he was too socially awkward to "earn it." Jesus. Earning sex? Really?

What I think he should do is go get a high class escort, pop his cherry to get the weight off of his mind, and then go comfortably into the "real world of dating" without what he seems to perceive as an albatross around his neck.

I offered this advice because the problem he put forth was not about dating, it was not about social awkwardness, it was not about learning how to get laid. It was about sex and the psychological weight that is put on young men to be sexually experienced.

If he had asked about the other three topics, I would have given significantly different advice that definitely wouldn't have involved an escort.

Of course, you're going to argue with me anyway. That's cool. I'm unable to sleep at the moment.

He needs to not feel the desperation and insecurity that accompany being an inexperienced male in his mid-twenties so he can engage with what you are proposing. You're on Step #2; I'm on Step #1.

Oh, they're totally going to bust out a chalkboard and some educational videos, then host a private seminar in his living room.

Let's get a little metaphorical here.

Billy wants to learn how to play chess. Billy has all the brains and parts he needs to learn to play, he just doesn't have the experience. So should Billy be playing games with a 9 year old kid who doesn't know the rules, or a chess master who he can observe and learn from? Who is going to improve him quicker? Who is going to teach him what he does and doesn't like faster? Who is going to give him more confidence in his own abilities as he learns?

As someone who is friends with high-class escorts, I know they're not doing it for law school. It's just for the money. It's the money for clothes and for bills and, sure, for some of them it's for blow. Whatever their motivations are, it does not deny their sexual skill or their ability to take a man's virginity.

Again, I feel that you expanded the OP's issue past the simple problem he stated and now are arguing a separate point that you decided to make (either due to your own inspiration or a misread).

 

Heard on BBC news yesterday that an american porn actor/actress has tested positive for AIDS and that the search is now on to find and test contacts of contacts within the porn movie industry.
Back to op - as for education, if he were a gal a few decades ago, he would have been 'finished', taught the social skills to help him sail confidently through life. Perhaps spending money on self development might be more usefull way of spending the money he would have spent on a sex worker, and the benefits of self improvement will be with him throughout life.
Are prostitutes skilled in etiquette and social skills? Would a lady of the night be that interested in the personal development of just some other John? Most likely, he will worry about what he might have caught, chew his fingernails down to stubs as he braces himself to ask the lady at the clap clinic to please take blood as he is scared he is going to die of aids or go mad with syphyllis.

 

You cant catch anything just from getting your dick sucked anyway.
(I'm sure someone is going to note there is one example im known history of this happening, but its more likely he'll get struck by lightening while walking to work that morning)

So, if you just want the release and you're worried about STDs, you can pay £30/£40 (whatever in dollars) for a blow job. But you may as well just have a wank in my opinion. It might be cheaper than that where you live also, I guess every town or city has its own market and prices based on supply and demand. If you want to pay a bit more you can go to a strip club or a massage parlour and have a bit of extra's. It isnt hard to find out which establishments are down for that sort of thing.

But you'll still probably feel bad afterwards, and it still probably wont mean anything.

_

As an aside, I used to know a guy, who was happily married and all, but used to use some thing call ICQ to meet people just for casual sex. Always up front on that understanding. If you're just up for casual sex you dont necessarily need to play, there are plenty of these "swingers" communities about too.

 

I'm too busy pigeon-holing you to respond this.

Bullshit. Excuses. You could say the same about lawyers, cops, military, med students, whatever. "Surviving in my first world flushing-toilet pizza-delivery subculture is sooo difficult. Whaaa." Quit whining.

Far before. And lemme tell you: If I can do the locomotion, anybody can do it.

It's called pigeonholing. I believe you've heard of it.

Hey, I didn't make up the goddamn "rules" of Modern Society. Don't shoot the messenger. I'm just repeating what I've heard. One man's experience.

Hell, I screwed my exwife on the first date and until the moment she dropped the D-bomb on me I was totally head over heels for her kooky ass.

And I leave all talk of evolutionary psychology to Strange Famous.

I don't know how I could be more clear about my point: He needs to go on date with a normal woman, not be deceptive about sex and see what happens.

Jesus, take the wheel... It does not.

Hey, whatever you want to call it. You can say it's earned, shared, expressed, owed, whatever. Two consenting adults want to smack crotches and make wet slappy noises.

Are we really arguing semantics here? You should probably get with another TFPer, perhaps one that posts in Tilted Politics, for that kind of masturbatory debate.

And you know what's worse than earned? Bought.

Hey, you've got a reiteration fetish too? I know what we can do later. Yeaaah... *wink*

Could have fooled me. But then again I like to read between lines and go off on tangents because I'm tired of weak bullshit.

Speaking of steps, how is it possible that 98% of men have somehow managed to get laid for the first time without the help of prostitutes? Fuckin' crazy, isn't it?

*something witty about how a knight's movements are curved for your pleasure*

Wait, what? Say that again. "It's a job." Exactly.

I don't misread shit. I extrapolate.

 

You, sir, need to fix your quote boxes and let me stop laughing at the above statement before I can respond.

 

Poetry, this is serious.

We gotta talk about our relationship here. I have certain... needs... that aren't being met. So, yeah, I need time. Being 100% serious. And by "time" I mean you need to not respond to my posts for at least 15 minutes because I post the initial one and then furious edit it for as long as possible. It's a condition that my therapist, Manic, is working on but meeting a lot of resistance. I babble incessantly on TFP; no amount of peer pressure will stop it.

 

Okay, that's adorable. With respect to our relationship and your needs, I'll give you some editing slack. That and I appreciate your attention to spelling and grammar.

Not whining, just stating an observation I have made about my many engineer friends. I've spent too much time in El Segundo, which I'm assuming you need no explanation of my reference.

Also:
-Lawyers/Med Students: have money, get women.
-Cops/Military: have uniforms, get women.
-Engineers: have a particular way of thinking that make social interaction interesting and don't always make the most money.

Modern society or the last 2000 years of history? I'm getting confused. Pick one. Should women look back to the last 2000 years, or should they focus on the state of modern society? And why only 2000 years??

And is it one man's experience or one man's observations? Are you consciously participating and reinforcing these "rules," or are you not?

Where is he going to find a normal woman? And why are you determining that you know his needs better than he does? He's established that his need is to lose his virginity, a physical activity. Why are you trying to establish that his need is to date, a social activity? You've never met him, you're just assuming.

Okay, I took the below quotes from previous posts you made in this thread. I admit that I may have linked them together in a way you may not have intended, but it seems decently solid.

You've asked that a man with no dating or sexual experience to somehow wrangle and seduce a woman for a one-night stand while being honest that he just wants her for the sex (though she should have learned in the last 2000 years that she shouldn't put out on the first date) and somehow not cockblock himself??

All social interactions, especially sexual interactions, have a person trying to sell themselves to another for some intent.

Is this when I offer to reiterate you all night long, you hot stud, you?

I try to address the question put forth, as opposed to deciding for people what their real question is and projecting myself onto them. It's kinda rude, in my experience. They didn't ask for psychoanalysis, they asked for advice. If that's weak bullshit... sure.

Source? I've got to read this study. I'm absolutely fascinated with the idea that the supposed oldest profession in the world is only responsible for devirginizing 2% of the world's male population.

*something witty about preferring the castle's texture and direct approach*

A job they get paid for. A job they are experts in. A job that requires knowledge and a lot of experience. I'd rather have a professional take care of a problem for me than some hack that says they know a little about the topic. What on earth do you have against escorts?? It's just a job.

One's speed-induced ignorance, one's self-inflated importance.

Thanks for poking at me, Mr. 9. I'm finally feeling the need to sleep. It's been entertaining.

 

Best game I've seen in a while. At this point it's 40-30 for Poetry, when Mr Plan is to serve.

Fembot next to me is getting excited too...

 

I dont think he actualy said he specificaly wanted a one night stand.
Doris - what would you advise your eldest son if he came to you in ten years time with the same type of concern?

 

Wow. You just summed up the entire relationship history of millions of men, myself included, in six words.

Oh, I dunno, something along the lines of "those who are confused about the purpose of learning from history are doomed to repeat it."

I could ask you the same question. Or anybody, for that matter. It's a Ouija board, that society thing. Unless you're a solipsist.

What's it like being new to the Internet?

Do you have difficulties with word problems? I mean, I can break it down, Barney-style, for easier consumption:

A: "Hi. I'm a 25 year old virgin. I'm awkward. I want to get laid by a hooker so I'm not so awkward around normal women."
B: "Hmm, are you sure you want to get laid by a hooker? It probably won't help the awkward part a whole lot."
A: "Not a lot of women in my field (because it's my whole life), I want the confidence of getting my dick wet."
B: "But that doesn't bring a whole lot of confidence, chief. It's just fast forwarding to the end. It's cheating."
A: "I didn't say anything about any of that. You're just making inferences based on your experience as someone that has had sex."
B: "Hey, welcome to the Internet."

*palmface* You don't say.

No, it's where I tell you that I'm going to pay someone else to do it because all this typing to get you agree to it was lot of work.

No, really... what's it like being new to the Internet?

Would you believe 3%? Show of hands, who has had sex with a hooker?

Common misconception. The rook? It's not actually a castle, it's an armored chariot.

Please tell me somebody else finds this uproarious.

Not really sure what this means. Sounds like smart people talk to me. Dat anger muh primitive brain.

Please don't start with the passive-aggressive name calling. We've got enough of that here at TFP.

I'd rather the thread not devolve into sideways jabs. Speak your mind or STFU, as they say.

If you're taking me seriously, you're the only one. Nobody else does. And I don't.

/found dead horse, hate horses, must keep beating

 

Was I taking this too lightly? Maybe so. I tend to joke a little aside.

I would not advice my son to use an escort service just to lose virginity. Masturbation gives man the same end result. I would like to tell him losing virginity is not about age. Being with a woman is more than sex.

I also would tell him, my opinion is not the only opinion there is. I can't know how big urges men can have, if they never touched a woman before. On the other hand, what right does anyone have getting their urges satisfied. If this was the case, I think there should be legalized clinics, where you can be sent by doctor's orders to get laid with a real woman.

I would know to tell him though - through experience - that any past intimate relationships the man has had, paid or not, quite likely will play a role in future relationships.