Are you crazy?

I am. I'm fucking insane. Seriously. WTF brain?

OK, so a little backstory, I found text messages in my girlfriends phone and I went nuts. No, not upset - kind of nut. I overeacted. Lately I've been thinking about how to get access to all texts she recieves without her foreknowledge. I even downloaded the sprint GPS phone tracker app on my phone just to make sure it works. I entertained these thoughts for a longggg while before I realized that I wouldn't want to be with someone who does that. And that perhaps maybe that's a bit ... psycho.

I'm not actually going to follow through with these actions, I just want to know how it gets this bad for other TFPers.

When did you become crazy? How did you realize you are batshit insane?

If you're very comfortable with your sanity, tell me about your interaction with crazy. How was it?

Story time.

 

Well, I did put the tracker on my woman's phone. As far as I was concerned, at the time, I had good reason to. I still regret doing it. We are getting over it now.

I've always been a little off, relative to most people I know. Insane? Depends on who you ask. Relative to my family, I'm rather well-balanced, I'm just a bit paranoid.

 

I can't relate to jealousy. It's not something I ever feel myself. I don't know why but from what I've seen it do to other people, I'm glad I'm not so possessive.

I am totally crazy in other ways, though. I have compulsive tendencies that occasionally get the best of me. It's never gotten to the point where I've considered treatment, but it's always kind of there in the back of my mind. I also have a lot of random twitches and tics that would probably go away with medication, but I've decided to live with it instead.

 

When I was married, I threw his keys as hard as I could against the wall-- a few inches from his head. Not a proud moment, although at the time, I felt it was justified.

Other than that, I've always been pretty laid back when it comes to relationships. When I was a teenager, I remember sitting around the dinner table at my grandparents' house. My grandma was telling us about this hot, single neighbor they'd had when they were younger, who was always asking my grandpa for help around her house. Cleaning the gutters, replacing a light switch, that kind of thing. And she was always pretty scantily dressed, apparently (well, scantily for the 50s), when he was there. My mom, or maybe it was my uncle, asked my grandma why she put up with it. And I'll never forget what my grandma said. "Oh, I said she could have him. If he was the type to run around on his wife, then I didn't want to be married to him anyway." My grandma is pretty rockin'


I've definitely DATED crazy, though, and I'll have to post about that later...I have a conference call now.

 

I definitely have buttons. And if you're close to me and you push those buttons, you better watch the fuck out. I don't get violent, but I have a very sharp tongue. Luckily, only a certain sort of personality brings that side out of me. So my plan from here on out is to avoid that sort of personality. Otherwise, I'm pretty chill to be around.

I have stories about crazy. But I can never be sure that my crazy isn't still watching me here. One thing I do know, everytime I say something about him here, I wind up hearing from him again. So I'm not going to tell my stories of crazy. But I have them, yes I do.

 

I have definitely done some super crazy shit. I was in a toxic relationship for 6 years and I lost count of the times. I try to keep myself in check now, but every once in awhile I can feel it right beneath my skin waiting to get out.

 

Tease.

 

don't feed the malignant narcissist vampires.

 

The good kind.

 

No one pokes that bear, my friend. MM needs a reprieve from THAT crazy.

 

Ah, I see. No offense is intended. I just want to hear about how others have had to dealt with various forms of psycho in their lives is all. If someone says they have an epic tale of madness but cannot speak of it in a public forum, then I regret not posting in members playground area only.

 

It wouldn't make a difference. If he's here, he's down there, too. This is why I don't cozy up to new people. I'm always suspicious.

 

There are many different levels of crazy....

Am I crazy? In what sense??

 

Depression and quite possibly bi-polar. But when I hear about what other people who are bi-polar who really are bat-shit insane acting, I find that I'm not too bad. I do have the prolonged manic ups and the really low downs though. I like the ups because of the insane productivity and creativeness. Unfortunately, I'm in a down cycle so I'm unhappy, unmotivated and unproductive, and then unhappy becomes I'm not productive or motivated to go do things I enjoy.

I'm also a little OCD in some ways and if hoarding is genetic, then I come by that naturally. I'm trying to get rid of that, then I get upset because I threw something out and should have done some creative thing with it that I found on pinterest later.

Those I find to be fairly normal when I look at other people.

The one that has me thinking I'm "psycho" crazy is a guy. I fell in love - and fell hard. It's been 15 months since I've seen or heard from him and I'm still not over him. I sent him the occasional text at first, but I don't think I ever went "crazy" about that. I just haven't gotten over him. I think I've been in love with him for 5 years or more and I don't know how to let someone else in. (Which could be contributing to the above mentioned depression.)