Parental Shaming

This is one of the many kinds of articles coming around these days of parents publicly shaming their kids in some fashion. Do you agree with this kind of discipline?

Personally, there is no shame anymore. No one ever gets to feel bad because everyone passes, we've removed just about everything that makes someone uncomfortable in some fashion. This is of course, outside of the constructs. We can create guidelines and constructions as to how behavior is supposed to happen, it doesn't mean that kids will follow. Same goes for adults.

Personally, I think that it's the last straw of the parent. I see it as a desperate attempt for the parent because they haven't consistently handed out even discipline. I agree with it to some degree because a punishment for kids is only as good a deterrent if it actually stops the behavior that is offensive. If it doesn't then the punishment is not good enough.

 

I get what you are saying. I didn't think of it that way initially as my wife had no choice but to wear poor box clothes. I didn't wear labels as a kid, wasn't really allowed nor was it purchased for me as a youngster. Teen years, I ended up going to the thrift store because it was cheap and I found good styles. I also never cared what people said about me.

Mom Forces Daughter To Wear Thrift Store Clothes To Cure Her Of Bullying - MamaPop


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HPkMZWdvr4

 

I'm not for it.

Shaming, like other forms of negative reinforcement, can have a long-term detrimental impact on those who are still in their formative years (i.e., minors). It may teach them, whether they are conscious of it or not, that humiliating others can get them to do what you want.

It's part of the reason why I'm against physical punishment.

Shaming is an assault on someone's integrity of social values. It's not quite the same as guilt, which is an internal thing. With this in mind, I don't think shaming has the intended effect that most would think. I don't think shaming gets people to feel remorse or personal regret very much. It's not that the shame is coming from the shamed in this instance. It's being inflicted on them by someone else.

I think this kind of shaming of children as punishment is far more punishing than disciplinary.

 

Frankly, all it does is create resentment.

 

doesn't all punishment create resentment?

 

It just seems to me that the headline should read, "Bully mom bullies bully daughter as punishment for bullying."

 

why is she bullying the child? She sat down with the child and felt that the child did not learn, had no compassion, nor remorse for her actions.

 

That's a good question. Maybe she's bullying the child as a last resort? I know parents can resort to that sort of thing when the more noble options fail.

I haven't read enough about this story to know just how many options she exhausted before going that route.

 

Only going by the OP

there are lengthier posts with more dialog from the parent.

--- merged: May 21, 2013 at 7:06 PM ---

What is a bully? Once you do 1 bully act you're a bully 4 life?

 

With that lengthier bit you quoted, it's interesting to contrast what the pros say with the supposed outcome of the parent-child interaction in this case.

To me, it would seem it's a demonstration that bullying works, especially if orchestrated by a resourceful authority figure such as a parent.

I mean, maybe the kid learned her lesson. Maybe she learned that teasing is mean. Maybe she will be kinder to her peers.

But maybe she's simply toeing the line to avoid further humiliation. Because, you know, thrift clothing really sucks.

 

Isn't that anything like the Penal systems? I mean there's humiliation for some, others not so much.

Is grounding a child bullying? Is forcing them to do chores bullying?

 

The "correctional" system is filled with humiliation, yes, which is another reason why I think the idea of parental shaming is repugnant. What a thing to be compared to when parenting your children.

Bullying can take the form of coercion, but it usually has a component of abuse or intimidation. In this case, the kid was coerced into a situation with a high likelihood of being subject to verbal abuse and shame. Actually, it was probably expected and hoped for from the parents' perspective. Otherwise, how would it be effective enough?

This is fundamentally different from being grounded or having to do chores.