Day-to-Day Embarrassment

So I'm pretty awkward and tend to embarrass myself a lot. Over the past few days, these interactions have happened:

On Sunday, I was having a conversation with one of my coworkers at the customers service desk at the bookstore. We had a few magazines out that we needed to put away, and David Bowie was on the cover of one.
I said, "You know what? I would do dirty dirty things to David Bowie."
At the same moment, a customer came up behind me to get help finding a book. He then proceeded to wink at me and say, "You know, I've been told that I kind of look like David Bowie..."
Needless to say, every square inch of me turned bright red, and I still helped him find his book.

Yesterday, due to a series of miscommunications about who was meeting whom where, I ended up alone at a restaurant. I snagged my friend an I a table, and sat down and ordered a drink to wait. I sat there alone with my strawberry lemonade for a good 10-15 minutes, when I got a phone call asking where I was (I was actually supposed to pick her up...). I had to flag my waitress down and tell her I was leaving, and she naturally made the connection that I was actually being stood up. I tried to hand her money for my drink, and she patted me on the hand and said, "Sweetie, this happens to the best of us. It's on me, and I'll get you a refill". So I left a jam packed restaurant alone with a to-go cup of lemonade, and the waitresses and the hostess gave me the most pitying looks I've ever gotten. Needless to say, once I picked her up, we went to a different restaurant.

So those are my stories as of late. When was the last time you were good and truly embarrassed? What happened? Did you handle it with more social grace than I would have? Let's share our cringe stories.

 

so, GeneticShift did he look like Bowie?

Years ago, I was meeting with the operations staff of a bank client, several young to middle aged women. There were several grins and smiles that seemed to be out of line with the conversation. Finally the manager got up, took me by the arm, pulled me behind a document vault door and quietly told me that I was unzipped, fully and very wide open. I zipped up and without missing a beat picked up where I left off. The grins and smiles didn't go away. A couple of them were hot. Maybe I should have asked if I looked like Bowie.

 

I read the thread title and thought it was about me.

Did you ever see the John Cusack movie "Better Off Dead"? When he's in class talking to a picture of his ex-girlfriend and realizes that he is talking out loud, it reminded me of my whole scholastic life... I'd walk out of class after my mouth started moving, and have to ask someone "Did I say that out loud?" Almost daily...

I do my best not to talk any more.

 

I saw a young looking man in the ER when I was a med student.
He was having an asthma attack. Very fair skinned, freckled face, looked like a teenager.
There was a woman with him, rubbing his back and helping to comfort him.
I asked if she was his mom.
Nope.
His wife.
She looked like her head was about to explode.
Now I make no assumptions about who anyone is. I just ask.

 

Not enough for me to want to do dirty things to him

I actually do that a ridiculous amount. Especially at work when I'm trying to find a book, I'll say the author and title out loud a bunch of times while I'm walking, even though I think it's only in my head...

 

I usually pride myself on not swearing in front of children, especially other people's kids. But, being human (or at least what passes for one these days) I slipped recently.

While bowling with my daughter and several of her friends, I got slightly impatient with my daughter, who seemed unable to grasp the concept of bowling despite my repeated screenings of The Big Lebowski for her, and let the F-word fly.

Little did I realize one of her friends' kid sister was sitting right next to me!

 

Some music triggers massive physical reactions in me.

Jimi Hendrix, Voodoo Chile ... the very long slow, 14 minute version on Electric Ladyland.
Around minute eight, Jimi sings "Humming bird that cries so loud", then plays an ultimate guitar phrase that swoops from Heaven to Earth and lands with a double stab.

I'd newly got a Sony Walkman ... I was unfamiliar with 'personal stereo' and the experience was like hour six of a good trip. I was IN A SHOP, yet hearing MIRACULOUSLY High quality stereo ... sonic heaven, the universe of music surrouding me as I decide which brand of baked beans to buy.

Humming bird that cries so loud ......... wheeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuuuuuuuuuuu DIH DUM.

My jaw clenches as my face muscles pull back in an animal grin. "Awwwwwww" I go, like I'm a warrior monk the moment before blood sacrifice and I leap into the air, "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH", I land in a crouch, one hand on the floor to steady myself and the other fisting toward the heavens, my knuckles white and shaking, for that moment, my whole being consumed. I could have died happy.

The haze cleared and I wish I HAD died.

Next to me, a huddle of very old ladies, bony fingers clutching their shopping trollies and each other, staring at me, wild eyed, squeezing little whimpers through throats choked in breathless terror.

OOPS

 

I get embarrassed often but not daily
The worst thing about me is I stare at girls. Once in office a pretty girl in blue jeans and white cotton shirt (my fav) walked by while I was refilling my water bottle. I was staring at her and the bottle overflow ...

Once in a Mexican restaurant after dinner went to pay bill and just stood still looking at the beautiful Mexican girl in the cash counter. She had to politely ask me for payment. My wife stepped in and smiled then said "please don't mind he is mesmerized lookin at you" the girl tuned red and I was so embarrassed

It happens often
I hate it when it happens that the other person is cold about it - I just wish I hadn't done it when that happens