What questions would you ask someone when you first meet them?

*that you wanted to date, have sex with, or just get to know?

These can be basic questions or detailed questions about their past. Nothing is off-limits or taboo, and any question has to be answered truthfully. Maybe you want to know how much money they make, how much they have saved, what kind of house or car they have. Do you want to know if they have had a kid or an abortion in the past? How many partners have they slept with, what kinky stuff do they like? Do they have an eating disorder or other health issue? Do they watch porn? Do they shave down there? Are they a virgin? Circumcised or uncircumcised? What kind of dream job would they like? Where do they want to retire? Do they text and drive? What are their political views? Are they ultra-religious and want you to be too?

For the people who have done internet dating, does knowing the answers to some of these questions from their profile prior to meeting them influence your opinion of them?

Does finding out something that bothers you later in the relationship change things? Or do your dealbreakers change if the right person comes along?

 

Do you like the Steelers, Patriots, the Heat, Lakers and/or the Yankees? If so, where do you go to worship Satan?

 

Do you know how to open a conversation with something other than, 'what up?'

 

I usually ask questions to find out if we have some sort of common ground for more conversation.

If we don't.... there's really no point in continuing for a relationship.

If it's just sex and we don't... Well, at least I know I wouldn't have any problems with never hearing from him again.

 

All I'm saying is, whenever I put an ad on a dating site, I am sure to get at least 100 responses from strangers that say, 'hey,' 'how you doin?' or, my favorite, 'what up?' Not even 'what's up?' Just 'what up?' As if it is my responsibility to not only write the goddamn profile, but apparently generate all attempts at communication beyond the very minimum of effort that one can make to connect with another person. I mean, you're contacting me, dude. That's all you can manage? These things don't go over well with me.

 

I sometimes ask people why bald men can still grow beards. My old boss (who was bald to be fair) got quite offended by it.

 

This is how it usually works for me. I'm the listener. Not really because of a lack of effort. I probably started out saying something to the other person and found that my contributions were falling on deaf ears. They wanted to talk about themselves and tell their stories.

 

I am not in the market to find a new partner so for me, it's about making new friends. I'd have to say that I am not about to interrogate someone upon meeting them. As I am most likely to meet someone as part of a group thing, I am more likely to react to the larger conversation than anything else. I tend to gravitate to those people who pop in the conversation -- wit is always a good start. The politics, music tastes, etc. come later.

Then again, I am slow to warm to people. I can mix it up in a conversation but when it comes to one to one friendships, I don't make those very often or very easily.

 

I am this. Slow to warm up to people. In particular, I'm slow to trust. I would rather start friendships in one-on-one setting as opposed to a large group of friends going out together. But, usually I end up determining that we just don't mesh for a real true-to-life friendship.

I have this theory on soul mates. Soul mates are not limited to someone that you are supposed to find amazingly attractive and have hot monkey sex with. They're people who you just absolutely mesh well with and maybe you can even finish each others sentences. Maybe you have some things that you don't completely agree on, but for the most part - Your sense of humor and everything just lines up. There is no "just one" when it comes to a soul mate and it is not limited by gender. Your souls just sit up and say - that one... that's my new friend. If you're lucky and it's the gender that you are attracted to, you also have a hella good chemistry, then the monkey sex begins. If not, then you have a friend who enjoys the same restaurants, the same movies, and laughs at the same things you do. They're the ones you call at 3am when you need someone who won't judge you and just stands by you.

 

Yo babe. Wha's gud?


Seriously though, a lot of things I ask in a round about way. I want to know a lot of things and I find out how to ask them Like ...

- are you diseased, in any way, not just related to STD's. I ask, if you have health insurance and how often you use it. I WILL find a way to slot it into the conversation.
- are you an alcoholic? What are your favourite drinks and what are the best times to surpsise you with them, hint "anytime" is the wrong answer.
- are you lazy? "Man, you look great! Which gym do you work out at? You don't work out?! I don't believe it!"
- how much money you got? I don't beat around the bush with this one. I want to know if you save and if your worth investing a dinner in.
- what kinds of music do you like? Tha answer to this question is ALL kinds. A fanatic devotion to one kind of music strikes you off my long term list.
- Which church do you go to? This removes you from my list entirely if you even as much as look at a church on your way to work.

So many I have.

 

In general, I guess I tend to ask stuff about the other person like, what do you do, what do you wish you were doing, have you read or seen anything good lately, etc.

In terms of pickup-type questions, I was never very good with those. Maybe something along the lines of:
What's your name? Who's your daddy? Is he rich like me?

 

How do you feel about Firefly? What can you tell me about Star Wars? Do you know what this is?



These are the important things.

****


Okay, really. I don't know, to be honest. I was thinking, "do you like kids? How about dogs?" But if I'd asked that, I wouldn't be in my current relationship. I suppose maybe, "are you going to freak out when I need down time and want to be by myself?" would be pretty high on the list.

Of course, if we're just talking sex, then "are you clean?" is pretty much it.