Big is beautiful!

This thread has been done before on the old TFP but I couldn't find it here, so time for a reboot.

Let's talk about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. Beauty has moved away from the realm of being subjective to religious. That is to say, we are now beginning to look down and actively express our distaste at those who find the conventional mainstream image the media pushes as beautiful.

You have a poster of a Sports Illustrated or FHM model? - "Ewwww, way to skinny for me, I like curves. She needs a sammich."

That to me is the equivalent of "I don't read, lol".

Why would someone that actively works hard to maintain an aspect of their image as integral as body weight want to change it? Or do the people who are known to say "she needs a sandwich" think that in order to be skinny you simply do not eat?

It may not be as crude as I described, but I have experienced a light version of this (reverse objectification?) here with the recent thread.

I like my girls slim. Manly because I too am slim. I like "curvy" girls. I like girls. I would prefer a slim version, but I am male. I don't get to have standards. Porn will have to do if I want to be picky. I have never, on the other hand went on the curvy girls thread and said something like "Eww, she needs to stop eating."

What I'm getting at is why are we endorsing one and not the other? It's obviously easier to be overwight than it is to be thin. Sure there are those that are naturally thin, but that isn't as rampant as overweight people that are just lazy.

 

There are a few things mixed up here.

I agree that there sometimes is "reverse objectification" - that's still objectification, and it doesn't matter if we're saying "YEEAAAHHH NICE BOOTY" or "SWEET CHISELED ABS" we are still adding to a dialogue where a bunch of dudes (the gender with the upper hegemonic hand) are deciding what's sexy. This causes ripples.

You are also equating figure with moral superiority: "Sure there are those that are naturally thin, but that isn't as rampant as overweight people that are just lazy." ...which might have some empirical evidence behind it on the surface (in the sense of "yes if you move more you burn more calories", but why are those women lazy? Is it that they are lazy or that they are not socialized to "improve" their bodies from a positive mentality the way guys are? How many of the women who are cut are doing it because they believe in getting stronger and attaining a mostly self-driven set of fitness goals? Or are they doing it because they want to achieve a certain look that is in? Man voice out.

 

I am not equating figure with moral superiority. I'm simply stating that as much as you can find a naturally thin person, the reverse of that would be an overweight lazy person. In that neither consciously do anything to influence their weight. Maybe the slim on works in a warehouse where they're on their feet everyday, idk. But fact remains if both were given the same environment neither would undertake any effort in rectifying their image. Does that clear that up?

 

This board is the first place I've seen a post like the one you're describing. I actually saw an article in the news about the "factory gap" referring to the gap between the thighs. Some teenage girls are making that their goal and resorting to anorexia and bulimia to get there.

I would have to agree with the posts that were made - from a heterosexual standpoint - but also from an artistic one. I just don't like the "hard" look to the girls posted in that thread. Not that they're "too skinny" and they don't look like they "need a sammich." It just looks like you could touch them and you would be touching a rock.

I didn't find Edward attractive in Twilight when I found out he was diamond hard either. I don't necessarily go for guys that are out of shape - just not so in-shape they look like they would be no fun to cuddle up with and watch a movie.

As far as to the why? I would say there are some that are just lazy. I would be referring to the morbidly obese who are "handicapped" because they are morbidly obese so further compound that problem by parking close to the building and walking less, or getting the motorized shopping cart in Wal-Mart. Others have some other problems going. Lack of support, depression, poor diet habits set from childhood, sedentary work environment.

Mine currently is depression and a sedentary work environment. I get up and run the four flights of stairs on my lunch break and noon and park on the far side of a neighboring building to walk further. The fact that I dislike my work environment leads to my depression. I go home and feel like I need to remove the knives from my back.

(According to Borla I think this is what it would be like to work with ZombieSquirrel ?)

As far as you being naturally thin and preferring a naturally thin woman - I don't see anything wrong with that. I don't see anything wrong with a guy that works out 4 hours a day preferring one of the females posted as I'm sure they work out at least that much per day. I know someone that has that kind of body and she is beautiful on the outside as well as the inside. I also know the type of time commitment required.

 

Oh JewelsMari, I would never stab someone in the back. I'd want them to see it coming and beg for mercy.

I have nothing further to offer to this thread because I would feel that my view is too narrow due to the people with whom I tend to associate.

 

Hmmm. I think it depends on the woman in question. I used to work with a woman who was drop dead gorgeous. Easily the most beautiful woman I've seen in Real Life--and she was a size 22.

There's also a big difference between "I work out and eat healthy food" and "I look like you might break me."

 

^^^ That sounds about right.

I like all kinds of attractive women. Some of them even find me attractive. ( yeah, I know crazy ) I don't tend to fetishize a body type, but tend to prefer strong women.

 

Out of curiosity... Do you think that her attitude and/or personality helped influence you with her looks? I've seen attractive people that I found ugly when I saw them treat someone else poorly, and have found people who might just be average at first look who get are suddenly more attractive when you see them help someone or make someone smile.

For example, on of my deal breakers would be going on a date and my date is rude to the server.

 

Personally, I see this in the same light as being attracted to blondes, Asians, girls with big fake boobs, etc. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to really skinny girls - if that's what floats your boat, have fun. I really don't see any difference at all when I look at the question strictly from the male standpoint. You like what you like, and that's fine as long as it isn't hurting anyone.

It's when I pull back my perspective a bit and look at it from more of a "human" viewpoint (for lack of a better term) that I see some issues, but even then I don't think that they're worth condemning anyone over. There are lots of women out there with body shape issues, sometimes in an unhealthy way (there are women that need to lose weight simply from a health perspective). As long as women with dangerously low body fat percentages (which is really what we're talking about here if you've looked at the other thread) are held up by a segment of the male population as the acme of female beauty, there will be women who listen and aspire to be the same.

Personally, I am attracted to a wide range of body shapes. When I was young and stupid(er than I am now), I thought that there was no way I could ever even have sex with an overweight woman (and my definition of overweight was dangerously and embarrassingly out of touch with reality). When I finally realized that women are people too and can be friends as much as sex partners, I got past that.

But, at the end of the day, I don't think that finding skinny girls attractive makes a guy a bad person any more than not being attracted to Black women makes a guy a racist. You like what you like.

 

Possibly-- she was hilarious and sarcastic and witty. But she also had flawless skin and beautiful eyes.


***

As the_jazz is saying, liking slim girls isn't the problem. You like what you like, can't really help that. It becomes a problem when being thin to the point of starvation is glorified in magazines and movies, and women or, more likely, young girls, are trying to attain that kind of body and can't do it in a healthy manner. Or men expect women to look like that, and don't think a woman can be beautiful unless they do look like that. I think comments like "feed that girl a sammich" are a rebellion of sorts to that kind of thinking.


Then again, even when I was in the best shape of my life, I would still not be considered "slim." So, y'know...take that with a grain of salt of whatever.

 

People can like what they like. And if people start a thread to celebrate the sort of look that they like, people should respect that - both by reserving judgment and, I will add, by sticking to the wishes of the OP. Just thought I'd use this opportunity to add that. again.

What I do take exception to is the idea that the women in that 'abs' thread are 'healthier' than the women on the curves thread. I beg to differ. We have no way of knowing how healthy those women are by looking at their body fat ratio. 'Bodybuilding' and the lifestyle choices (like nutrition choices, for instance) that often go along with it can be very hard on the internal organs - particularly the heart. So, just like it is a function of popular misconceptions for people to think women with chunky hips and asses are unhealthy, such it is for those who equate lean musculature with health. Particularly when it comes to women because women are actually more liable to have heart attacks than men. Just as an example, my mom had a friend - beautiful, 32, healthy, buff, marathon runner - dropped dead of a heart attack two years ago. Humans, we struggle so with obsessions and addictions, including ones that are 'good.' The path to health - as always - is about balance and avoiding extremes.

Despite how it may seem to some, I like all kinds of women in their natural shape. Whether they are thin or curvy doesn't matter to me as much as what they exude. My objective in starting threads that feature curvy women is solely about representation. Thick women are not fairly represented here at TFP because the tastes of most of the men here run toward thinner women. I get bored with that after a while - particularly with the more commercial stuff. They all start to look the same after a little while. Same look, same hair, same pose, same light. That, and I think flesh - bounteous, beautiful, human flesh - is beautiful.

 

I could type those exact same words in exactly that way and would be labeled an asshole for it. You pull it off. And it can't be said enough.

Back button, people! Learn to use it!

/staff rant

And I'm completely in agreement on the entirety of the last paragraph as well.

 

I know how to use a back button. Even so, the title of this thread is misleading. I clicked thinking it was the subject/ appreciation of big women. It's quite the opposite.

 

For me the issue is about what I find aesthetically and erotically appealing, not about judging the other person or their life choices. If someone wants to spend their time getting ripped and buffed out muscley, great: it's a free country, you should be able to do what you like and look like what you please and not get shat on by other people for it (unless, I guess, that's what you're into...).

And as for my personal aesthetic and erotic preferences, I don't mind a girl who's naturally slender in a graceful and healthy way. If you check some of my posts on threads about hotties, I have several times posted Summer Glau, who I have deeply groiny feelings about, who is a slender chick-- she used to be a ballerina. But she's naturally that size, and while certainly fit enough, is not buffed-out ripped. She has curves, and looks wonderfully smooth and soft in her own slim way. Granted, I tend to gravitate toward curvier girls, and self-admittedly prefer the busty Valkyrie or lusty serving wench type of figure on a girl, but there's a place for the slimmer girls in my happy inner sex world, too.

For me, slim or not isn't the issue. I don't like the look of muscled up, hardcore athlete girls. I tend not to like to spend time with anyone, male or female, that is that obsessive about athletics and their body, and focuses that much of their life on their physicality and using it to compete or to prove things to themselves or others. This doesn't mean that if I see such a girl, I'm gonna give her crap for her choices, or call her names or anything. It just means I will have no interest in fucking her. Or, to be more precise, in imagining fucking her, since I am faithful to Mrs. Levite (and, historically, my wanting to fuck someone has comparatively seldom actually resulted in my fucking them). If other folks want to fuck them, good luck with that. I've hugged a few chicks of that sort, and it was like hugging wood wrapped in rawhide: why I should be turned on by that, I don't know. But if that works for others, good on 'em. Presumably the curvy, soft, lush, womanly chicks I like turn off some dude. Good on them, too: whatever floats your boat.

But whatever our preferences, there's no sense making this into a high-and-mighty philosophical debate. It is what it is, no more than that.

 

Really?
My taste runs toward curves like you post in your picture threads.
And I thought (thinked, thunk) that was a majority viewpoint actually.

 

I have no idea how you would get that impression. GS and myself are the only people who even post on that thread.

 

One does not need to post to enjoy, IMHO.

 

Sure, but come on. I'm not going to sit here and consider that thick body types are the most popular ones on TFP porn threads. It just ain't so.