How to ask talk about living together without scaring him?

I moved in with my now-husband after 2 weeks largely due to logistics. I needed a place and he had room. Looking back, we weren't ready for that, but we made it through anyway. It's one of those things where if it is something you are really interested in, you just have to go for it. Like skydiving. Also, given that you haven't lived on your own before, I think you need to look at it from a monetary standpoint and figure out what is really reasonable and affordable. I'll also echo what others have said about living on one's own. It's important to have a good sense of who you are before moving in with someone else you are romantic with, and it's also important to know you can live on your own and take care of yourself, should you ever need to down the road.

 

I don't think I've ever seen anyone overthink this shit so much. Do you want to move in with him? Yes? give him a toe-curling blowjob and then when he's basking in the afterglow say "hey! Let's move in together!"

The blowjob isn't really necessary. I'm just trying to help a brother out.

As for this:

Doesn't work that way, hon. Most men already know whether or not they want to get married. If they do, and they think you're a good wife candidate, they'll propose. If they don't, they're going to dodge the issue and if it's that important to you, you're better off finding someone in the first category. Many don't, and they shouldn't, because marriage is a dark-ages anachronism that ceased being relevant when we decided that it was maybe cool to treat our women more like people and less like trade goods. But y'know, whatever works for you and your sweetie.

 

And there's no reason why you can't propose to him if you really want it that badly.

 

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obQVwxnwkaU

 

we're a rude lot don't you remember that from your other posts?

seriously, we require signage, lights with sirens, and other noisemakers to clue us in.

 

Ok...I've got a simple point...just talk.
No matter what sex, men/women, women/men, men/men, woman/woman, etc...
People put too much into all the twists & turns.
People presume that others know exactly what they are talking about and what they mean. NOT TRUE.

Hell, you may even be both using the same word but in truth, that word means two different things to you and them.

Simply talk.
Ask what he wants, tell him what you want. Throw out ideas.
Anything else is just complicated.

But, be honest with yourself, you may not hear what you don't want to hear. That's just a risk.
Then again, you may hear what exactly you want to hear. There's that too...and all points in-between.

But wouldn't this be better than not knowing??? Or even worse, thinking one thing when another is true.

Talk...make a decision.

Repeat this method throughout your relationship.
It's that simple.

The only time it doesn't work, is when the other person is not saying the truth.
But then again, if you talk...over time you'll be able to tell this too as things won't turn out as stated.
And then you'll know...which is better than not knowing.

Talk.

 

yes talk, but be SPECIFIC. Use simple words. Don't think that he'll understand what you're saying just because you are saying it. Ask him to repeat it as he understands it. And then, explain it back to him as you understand what he said. You'll get there.

 

BTW, chelle...a point. There is no rush. Figure it out.

I rushed...it doesn't help.

 

what do you have against Red and Black?


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3MAwJTRNwo
--- merged: Mar 29, 2013 at 10:32 AM ---

I'm so glad that I got my own place in my late 20s. It was the best fucking thing I did in my life. I learned a lot of things from how to be alone and comfortable with myself. While I don't like it sometimes, I did have to learn to tolerate it because well, face it you'll be by yourself at some point in time. Also, I got to make my space the way I wanted it. I didn't have to share nothing, compromise nothing, I left it messy if I wanted to. I made it nice when I wanted it to be nice. I ate what I wanted. Stocked the fridge the way I wanted. Left it empty when I wanted. Shit it was fucking awesome.

 

Yes, I started decorating like that, and realized, fuck decorations and shit to buy is expensive yo.

besides, bringing girls over and having star wars action figures, swords, and video games doesn't get their panties wet. no not a drop. okay maybe some girls. but those hot club girls? no.