Adult Science Jokes

real science = weird science

 

Happy New Year

Here's one that's not so much a joke, but a great cartoon. (it's a vid from phdcomics.com)
Link

Enjoy and keep on exploring.

 

Friend: I love this quote… “Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know that they are always there.”
me: Actually, many of the stars we currently see are already burnt-out and dead,
but we just don’t know it yet because their light is still traveling toward us.

Friend: Fine. We’ll change it. ”Good friends are like stars…
me: …They’re very shiny but a lot of them might be dead.”

Friend: And once again, you ruin the romance with logic.
me: Well some might not be dead yet.
Although technically if they’re not already dead they’re most likely currently in flames.

Friend: *sigh*
me: How about this?: ”Most of your friends are dead, but the ones who aren’t dead are on fire.
It’s complicated to explain, but it’s nice to watch from a distance. Much like friendship.”

Friend: Yeah. That’s almost exactly the same sentiment...
me: It’s a gift.

**Don't even get me started on who are like Black Holes...

 

And for that...not a bitch-slap, but a Bat-Slap!

 

Someone studying atoms is just atoms trying to understand themselves...



Whoa...dude. *pass it*

 

Ok, not so "adult"....so sue me.

 

That minx.

 

I need a double-jump today...

 

Hell of a weekend...

 

No wonder they always land on their feet...

 

"I wanna go as something KINKY for Halloween this year!"

".... How about an unsaturated phospholipid?"

 

Personally I prefer my phospholidpids, saturated and ready to go (otherwise, how would I know they are turned on by me?? )

But if you want to go REALLY kinky...I'd suggest a Poly-Unsaturated phospholipid scene (the more the merrier I always say. )

 

Situations of greater entropy are statistically favoured.
Things that are statistically favoured tend to happen, especially over time.

A disordered room has greater entropy than an organized one.
Thus an organized room will tend to become disordered over time.
The only way to reverse this is by continually putting in energy from an outside system (i.e. making the effort to clean your room regularly)

HOWEVER, at some point a disordered room will be maximally entropic.
At this point, continually failing to clean one’s room will not generally result in a more disordered state.
Thus no additional input of energy is needed to maintain the state of the room

Therefore cleaning one’s room is futile - a task for the modern day Sisyphus.
It is much more energetically efficient to allow the room to stay at its natural, maximally entropic state towards which it will always tend
(and to expend that energy on more interesting things)


**which is why it looks like it does...

 

Ever have one of "those" days???

 

Yes, I do feel like this some day...a part of the "system"

 

The Who's Who of Superheroes...guess who...

 

Actual Science Tests Report...
These are reputedly real answers to questions on science tests.

• When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
• Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
• Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.
• When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.
• Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
• Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
• The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.
• The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
• A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
• For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or, if it's a lady, rub her arm above the hand.
  Or put her head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.
• Equator: a menagerie lion running around Earth through Africa.
• Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot.
• The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off.
  The purpose of the skeleton is so that there is something to hitch the meat to.
• To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
• The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity.
  The brainium contains the brain. The borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels,
  ...of which there are five - A, E, I, O, and U.

Well, the way my brainum feels today, I'm deader than other humans...

 

At first, God said :

Rot E = -dB/dt

Div D = rho

Div B = 0

Rot H = j + dD/dt

and there was the light...