Pointless Announcements

I sold my orthodontist a book today and he asked me if I've been using my retainer. I haven't. Got a lecture in the middle of work.

Silly things happen in bookstores.

 

I'm cranky. I think I've figured out that my level of crankiness is a direct correlation of how much sleep I get. This is news to me, as I always thought that it was completely random. Empirical testing is required.

 

How much of the house do want to be standing when you get back? Not saying that our 2nd annual "Borla's on Vacation" par....er....."Quiet and completely non-destructive TFP get together" will cause any damage, just asking a strictly "hypothetical" question.

 

they won? Are snow storms on the forecast for hell as well?
--- merged: Sep 25, 2012 3:57 AM ---

I was just asking for the rest of the folks on here. No worries, your steaks will all be either grilled and enjoyed or buried again by the vegans.

 

Yeah Borla , we wish you a great second anniversary vacation.

Just make sure to get extended insurance coverage for your immovable and movable property from the_jazz before you leave.

*schedules his flights to Chicago*

 

Very true. We have a huge display for all of the 50 Shades books, and every day I have to direct horny 40-something Jewish housewives to the table. It's the silent judging that I have to hide when someone buys one that is the difficult part...

 

And every night there are scores of happy middle aged husbands silently thanking the bookstore clerk.

 

Don't worry. They all know.

 

I've had several husbands wink at me as they walked out with it. I'm glad they are getting laid, but still. Does it have to be because of some poorly written Twilight based fan fiction?

 

Oh, Gawd, that's an awful book. I bought a kindle version so I could read along with Baraka Guru and Plan9 while they discussed it in the 'chick lit' thread. I didn't get very far. The main character is in dire need of a wizard with an extra brain to share. A strong spine wouldn't hurt, either. I don't think the author has heard of a thesaurus, or writing in PAST tense. The present tense storytelling was like fingernails dragging across a chalkboard. I don't understand the attraction.
*/off my soapbox*

 

I agree! I downloaded it for my Kindle just to see what it was about (much like I did for Twilight, just curiosity to understand current pop culture references..), and could barely make it through.

I did decide, though, I might reread it after making it into a drinking game. Drink every time:
-Ana says "Jeez" or "oh my"
-Anyone "murmurs" "mutters" or "gasps" (I don't think anyone speaks in a normal tone of voice in this book)
-Anytime Ana has an "earthshattering orgasm"
-Anytime there is a reference to an "inner goddess"

So do this drinking game, then have whatever the hell kind of sex you want with your partner. And this should get you fucked up pretty quickly, since "murmur" is used an average of 2 times/page.

 

How do you source within 48 hours more than 700 liters of a liquid chemical that is fairly difficult to find and make sure it's at the destination latest in 96 hours?

I don't know, but I'm about to find out.

/hatescustomerswhodon'tgiveanynotice

 

I have two new episodes of Homeland to watch... <happy dance>

 

So, not only do I have the day off, but I have the day to myself, as well. Shazam!

 

My team won their first game in very important series last night.

 

ask the man who spent the day chopping out concrete from the bottom of a pit.

the trick is that concrete is great in compressive strength, but poor in tensile strength. so if you can use that to your advantage, you're half way there