Pointless Announcements

I love the infusion nurses! They crack me up!

 

Why do you pull out in front of me, mini-van-mom, when I have to pee so bad I could rip off your face and smack your kids with it just for being stupid?

 

...

Married White Women
...Jesus H. Christ.​

...​

 

Don't make me rip off your face and beat you with it, Hotel Husband! .... Cause I kinda have to pee again.

 

Shit, I hope not.

<- divorced

 

Well, my Dean can't hear well... "this is my friend, Niner..." "Oh, your husband? Nice to meet you..."
Jesus Herbert.

 

Oooh, that. Hah. Yeaaah, but I get the feeling that guy is surprised by his own wife on occasion. "Who are you?! Why are you in my bed?"

Mmm, we need to get a picture together sometime so we can really keep the marriage thing going. I'll put it up as my FaceySpace profile pic, etc.

I guess I could see myself married to a woman like you. Get the rabid monkey sex and awkward talks over... get right down to all the dirty looks.

 

Ha ha ha. Couldn't help it.
You're too funny. All I think of is Canadian Geese and zip ties.

 

Good times.

...wait, what's the goose part?

 

Your ride home.... well back to the hotel anyway.

 

Well, I'm glad one of us remembers what we talked about.

I do remember dissing Fat Tire for like 2 hours. Urgh.

How anybody drinks that foul shit is beyond me.

Oughta call it Ass Tire. Or maybe Blowout.

...

It's 21:18 and I'm in TFP chat, bitches.

It's time for a delicious mixed drink.

 

Beer Poseur.

As a side note, Chicago better release my freaking man right about now. What kind of weather are you fuckers having up there? His plane was supposed to land in less than 3o minutes. It just took off... and the flight time increased to 3 hours. WTF, the_jazz?!

 

^ Been married for 15 minutes after shacking up with said dude for 15 years. Acts like she misses him when he's gone. I tell ya, women are crazy.

 

Don't make me summon Chuck Li Stallone, dude.

Or B.A. Baraka_Guru

Get thee into chat, weirdos.

 

'80s Action. I tell ya, I fucked up big time. My current girlfriend doesn't even know who Dolph Lundgren is...

Do you realize how big a blow that is to our long term potential? I mean, she's got an expiration date.

 

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No Universal Soldier?! WTF?

 

She's not at all interested in Tango and Cash. And she doesn't wanna watch all 9 (er, 10?) Hellraiser movies with me.

Eh, I guess I ditched hobby compatibility in favor of mental stability. Either way, I'm on my own for '80s Action night.

I mean, if you have to explain why these classic napalm cloud movies are great, you're not really doing them justice.

 

That's why the evenly balanced cost of explosives for The Exp2 and the cumulative cost of the plastic surgery in that movie made me sad.

 

I just finished watching Last House on the Left.
For two reasons:
1. Just watched American Grindhouse last night. Which was fun.
2. I'm feeling slightly homicidal.