my boyfriend keeps lying about little things!

Man, how bad has this thread been derailed?

 

I think we addressed the problem, Xerxes. And I think we had a great time doing it, too.

 

That and MeltedMetalGlob hasn't posted any annoying-as-fuck near-porn in the thread to make NSFW.

 

Men don't lie.

We just use our overly active imaginations on a fairly regular basis.

 

Stop Lying.
MMG would NEVER do that.

 

Pshaw. You're a god among men (which isn't saying much) and I'm grateful that your stoic attempts to be brave in the grip of a cold virus allow me to get some housework done during those rare moments you don't have me spread-eagled and bent over.

This is still the lying thread, right?

 

no, i think this is the bullshit thread.

'cos this is all bullshit since the OP left the building

 

FTFY 2.

Always happy to be of assistance.

 

I think there was a good deal o' bull while she was still here.

You know how it goes. You lay a pile of shit somewhere and people are naturally going to think it's a toilet.

 

When I was growing up, I was taught that a REAL man never cried- ever.

There was only one possible exception to this rule- when either Stallone or Schwarzenegger died at the end of their movies.



But as you can see, that had some gray areas to it.

So, I got tired of making up excuses at inopportune moments in my life...


...and I did the MANLY thing- I went and had my tear ducts surgically removed from my body- now I NEVER cry- and IT'S AWESOME!

But why should I keep such a thing to myself? Now YOU TOO can undergo the MeltedMetalGlobRealManProcedure and never will people witness the unmanly sight of water coming out of your eyes.



How can you argue with results such as this?


Don't wait! Operators are standing by NOW!

 

I love that guy. He's so wacky.

 

joniemack was the only one to give well thought out advice so thank you. im new to this site and i figured people would ramble about off topic shit but why are some of you saying its a bullshit thread i dont know what that means

 

Wow, I'm hurt.

 

ARE YOU CRYING??!!!!

 

No, but I do feel like I should just respond to threads where young girls are asking about why men are just so stupid with a random canned insult:

"If you weren't so clingy..."

"Perhaps it's because you're fat..."

"Well, maybe if you'd just take it up the..."

Etc.

Unlike logic or coddling, tough love gets 'em wet.

/50 Shades of Grey

 

It's shit like this that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. I swear... I think I love you sometimes.

 

Fuck everybody.

I'm going to get on Twitter and not tell my girlfriend.

Then I'm going to point out the folder on my desktop that says PORN and see if she starts crying.

After that? I'm going to go hang out with my guy friends and not text her every single time somebody says something funny.

/wondering how long I can ride the cranky guy joke thing before people start thinking I'm serious

 

So uhh...

how YOU doin? Wanna hit a movie?