No Children

There's a world of difference between having the choice and making it.

You carry a weapon. Choosing to use it is a completely separate decision.

Probably a bad analogy; but when the time came to abort or not, we decided that we wanted kids sometime in the future and that it may as well be these. It's a difficult, life changing decision that I think everyone ought to be able to make. I opted against.

 

Immediately thought of these.

...

I do? Really? And yes, that's a horrible analogy.

I can respect that.

 

I had two thoughts when I read this, the first is that there is no we, when it comes to abortion. Once that second pink line shows up the ball is in her court and hers alone. Any input you might have will be by her grace alone.

The second is that just because someone is pro-choice doesn't mean they would ever actually get an abortion. It just means they recognize the right of bodily autonomy, not that they necessarily agree with what anyone might do with that autonomy.

 

My point was that I wouldn't be in a relationship today with someone that wasn't on the same page as far as "accidental" children.

Sure, it's true I have no control over the scared, hormonal creature that just learned a tiny parasite is growing inside her love holster.

That's the risk you take making sexy time with someone other than yourself.

My, you're just full of common sense. Can't think of any other buzzwords I'd like defined at this moment, but I'll page you after I backup my HD.

Here my point was that Stan himself acknowledged that his wife got pregnant "accidentally" and that wasn't necessarily the best time... twice.

Obviously carrying the children to term wasn't an accident. And obviously it was a good enough time as any since they went through with it.

Here's my obvious statement of the day: We live in a world of options.

 

It's adorable when you condescend someone.

My point was that being pro-choice and and not terminating does not mean that they felt it was a good enough time. It just means that they went through with it.

 

I've learned from the masters here at TFP.

We're not even arguing debating anymore.

 

Seems like we're arguing symantics. My wife was on hormonal birth control, at the time. She's an RN, was very religious and calculating about taking her pills. Go figure, the prescription that had the least side effects for her didn't stop sperm from meeting egg. So ya, she got pregnant despite being on the pill. #2 was a different prescription, equally ineffective, it seems. Tubal ligation works much better for us.


I'd define pro-choice exactly the way the words imply. We had a choice to get an abortion, both times. We chose not to exercise that right; but I strongly believe that everyone ought to have the ability to make that decision for themselves.

 

I'll try to explain it again, though I might end up defining a word or two. I hope that it doesn't offend you too much.

It's possible to be pro-choice and morally opposed to abortion.
Or in favor of drug legalization but against actually using drugs.
Or in favor of your right to gamble but against you pissing away your family savings at the track.
Or in favor of the right to run out on your kids but morally opposed to deadbeat parents.

And that's because being pro-choice only means being in favor of the right to have an abortion. Try reading this one again. It's entirely possible for a person to find themselves in a situation where despite a worthy effort they end up with children because, even though they're pro-choice, abortion isn't an option they're personally willing to consider.

Which means it is not the case that just because a person is pro-choice and has a kid that they wouldn't have preferred just as strongly not to have it as a person who actually went and got an abortion.

 

Hektore, for fuck's sake... I understand--with crystal clarity--what you're saying. I always have. And nobody is reading this drivel.

Do you have any useful parental anecdotes or are you going to don your bars and continue playing Captain Obvious?

Are we done playing the "my opinion rules, your opinion drools!" game here or should I summon up UsTwo?

Fuck me. Somebody moderate this mess.

 

Ok, I will. Can we get back to the OP please? I never intended the question to start a debate about kids vs no kids. I simply wanted some feed back from kindred spirits - people who chose not to have kids. Frankly, I'm not sure why people with children have felt the need to chime in on this one. The question doesn't apply to them technically and all I've read is "didn't think I did, but once I had them...blah blah blah" that was the same logic most of my friends and family tried to use on me. I don't doubt that they are very happy with how their life turned out and I'm happy for those people most definitely. It just wasn't for me.

Oh btw Plan9...I think I love you LOL. Your posts always make me smile and laugh my ass off oh and think sometimes too. Thanks for being you.

 

I though about it but the first jokes that entered my mind involved the cabin in the woods and either you becoming a uni-bomber type guy or the victim of some red neck and end squealing like a pig ala' Ned Beatty.

 

I don't have to ask my family members because we are a very open family and we don't invest very much in tradition. I can tell you without a shred of hesitation that my mom and dad couldn't care less whether my sister has children.

I am sorry that your family places these expectations on you and I am sorry that you feel society places these expectations on you. But I can't help but feel that the pressure starts primarily from within your own families and is projected out onto a world in which most people happen to procreate. And, for those that do, it's a pretty big deal. Perhaps if you weren't feeling so much pressure internally, you wouldn't see these external expressions and celebrations of parenthood as a personal affront.

 

I respect that everyone has opinions that's what makes this site so interesting, but I've noticed that threads get way off topic sometimes. I thought my questions were pretty straight forward. I will consider your advice the next time I think about starting a thread. Thanks Snowy!

 

Hey, don't thank me, I'm on the payroll.

Cynth pays me to keep the site stats up.

Checks are made out to "Dr. Friction."